A Little Pain
by bakaneko0518
Summary: Could she cross that line? Could she allow herself that little bit of happiness? MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS. HachiNobu. AU.
1. Hesitation

_**DISCLAIMER: Nana belongs to Ai Yazawa. **_

_Italics are thoughts/memories_

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* * *

Could I change one thing?_

_Could I change your mind?_

_Shall we burn it just like last time?_

"The Fear of Being Found" -**Blaqk Audio**

* * *

Hachi couldn't suppress the nostalgic smile that lit up her face as she dipped her hand into the scented bath water. She had many fond memories in this tub, but on this particular day one stood out among the others in her mind. 

"_Ne, Nana, The truth is… Nobu…" _

"_What about Nobu?" _

Her smile faded. The memory brought so many conflicting feelings to the surface. Feelings she didn't want to think about; truths she didn't want to face. So many things had happened the past year, things she wanted nothing more than to talk out with Nana, here in this very tub. Conflicts involving Takumi, situations involving Nobu…

"Nana?"

Nobu's voice interrupted her reverie. Hachi turned and looked up at him, suddenly feeling weary of being alone with him. She wasn't ready yet- she was still unsure of herself, unsure of what answer to give.

"What are you doing?"

Hachi smiled warmly at him, explaining she put some scented lemon salt in the bath. The way their last encounter ended flashed briefly through her mind as she began drying her hands with a spare towel. She had been a sobbing mess, things weren't going well with Takumi at the time and she was missing Nana.

"Don't worry, I feel better now." She felt the need to reassure him.

Hachi could feel his eyes on her, and his question before they parted that day forced its way back into her thoughts. She'd been doing her best not to confront it, but had failed miserably. Aside from finding Nana, it had been in forefront of her thoughts for the past few weeks.

"_Why? Why can't you just let yourself be happy for once?!"_ Nobu had all but yelled at her that day. She moved to stand; she needed to get out, needed to get away before she lost her composure in front of him, yet again.

But he wasn't about to let her get away that easily. Nobu's warm hand clamped around hers as she stood up; his eyes bored into hers, trying to will her into looking at him. She conceded. His eyes asked her the same question he did that day when he suddenly embraced her under a canopy of sakura trees.

"_Nana, I-I... I can't stand this anymore! Let me be the one who can make you happy! Even if it's just for a little while… A few hours, a few days, I don't care! I'll do anything for you!" _

Hachi stared down at the man before her, the suppressed pain as evident in his features now as they were a little over a month ago. So many feelings raged within her. It had been quite some time since she had fallen out of love with her husband. And through all the hardships she's faced with Takumi over the years, she'd never been able to completely forget Nobu. The attraction, the sense of warmth and closeness between them never faded.

"_Nobu has stepped back in consideration for your happiness…"_

Nana's words stung. Hachi hadn't been happy in her marriage for a few years now. Her only source of happiness, comfort, and reassurance to keep trying with Takumi, was Satsuki. Abandoning her daughter, or filing for a divorce, was something she would never do. But still... Hachi knew that deep down she had always craved that special warmth that only Nobu could give her. As long as she stayed married, could she cross that line? Could she allow herself that little bit of happiness with him?

"_You'd better be happy!" _Nana's voice echoed through her mind.

Hachi squeezed his hand gently.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, this plotbunny has been floating around in my head for awhile now. In light of recent manga chapters, I'll be working from the perspective that Takumi/Reira had an affair and that the son is in fact theirs. I know this hasn't been confirmed as fact yet, which is why I labelled this an AU. There won't be any Takumi bashing in this story, either. I'm going to try to make him as in-character as possible when he makes an appearance, though it won't be often, as I just want keep the focus on Hachi/Nobu. Also, because Nana O. will be mentioned periodically throughout the story, I used 'Hachi' for Nana K.'s name even though Nobu refers to her as Nana. Hoping to avoid confusion that way. Please review and critique where necessary. More than likely I'll be editing this chapter again soon. Next chapter will be Nobu-centric. 


	2. Song

**_A/N:_** Hoorah an update! I really should've been doing my A&P homework, but eh... oh well XD Anyway, Nobu might come across a lil OOC in this chapter, I apologize in advance. Also, the lyrics at the end are _"Pause" by Fair_. A very fitting song for Hachi and Nobu, I think XD It's a very pretty song, I recommend checking it out. Next chapter is when everything starts happening. Enjoy!

**_Disclaimer:_** _Everything belongs to Ai Yazawa._

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__The twinkling of the stars calls to the wind_

_  
Your smile erases the noise_

_  
The angel in your eyes is whispering_

_  
That everything is starting now _

"_**Wish" - Olivia Lufkin**_

* * *

With one last wave to the group standing on the platform and a pointed look at Hachi, Nobu turned and boarded the train back to his hometown. He was indifferent to what his ex-band mates would think of that look, they were all well aware of the fact that he was still crazy in love with Nana Ichinose after all this time. The blonde haired man sighed as he leaned back into his seat, his guitar case sitting next to him. He looked out the window, hoping to catch one last glance of her before he left. All he could see was her retreating form through the crowd, her long red locks causing her to stand out among the sea of black hair.

Nobu frowned. That was to be expected, of course. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling of melancholy that overcame him every time he left Tokyo, and it was always for the same reasons. He missed the band, he missed his lead singer, and he missed Hachi. How many times had Nobu seen a genuine smile on her face over the years? The number was very few, and that irked him to the core. Someone like Hachi shouldn't be so sad all the time.

The train began moving and Nobu leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It was going to be a _long_ trip home, and he was dumb enough to have forgotten to charge his iPod at Shin's place before leaving town.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" A young male voice asked tentatively. Nobu cracked an eye open and shook his head. A teenager with spiky black hair and a lip ring sat next to him. A few minutes passed and Nobu had the distinct feeling of being watched, and upon opening his eyes he discovered the young teen was in fact staring at him.

"Err… is something wrong?" Nobu asked, suddenly feeling somewhat uncomfortable under the scrutinizing gaze of the teen next to him.

"You…. You look really familiar to me," The boy said, cocking his head to the side.

"That so? Well, you might have seen me around the Terashima Hotel, getting scolded by my mother no doubt," Nobu chuckled. He caused his mother so much unnecessary anxiety. The boy seemed to ponder this briefly, but his eyes went wide as soon as he caught sight of the guitar case next to Nobu.

"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE THE GUITARIST FROM BLAST!" He shouted- causing everyone around them to look their way at the out burst. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to shout… Eheh!" The blonde haired man just laughed.

"It's ok, don't worry about it. And yeah I was in BLAST," Unconsciously Nobu's fingers began stroking his guitar case, un-seen by the boy next to him. It always happened whenever BLAST was brought up, the sudden urge to play and write new music. The boy's eyes grew huge.

"So… does that mean… errm…" A blush crept over his cheeks momentarily as his eyes shifted to the ground.

"Are you, uh… still dating the AV actress, Yuri?" The boy's face was beat red now. Nobu's fingers stopped stroking the guitar case and began rubbing the hair on the back of his neck.

"Er, no, we broke up awhile ago," He laughed nervously, this was the one subject he liked to avoid talking about if at all possible, along with the inevitable question if BLAST would get back together. It was to be expected that Asami would be brought up, though; their relationship had been big news after the band's debut. Of course, it paled in comparison to Nana and Ren's relationship, but it was still worth a section in the gossip columns.

"Oh… sorry, that was probably rude of me to ask, huh?" He scratched his head nervously. "The name's Mamoru, by the way. Nice to meet you,"

The two shook hands and fell into a somewhat relaxed conversation during the duration of the long trip. Nobu could literally _feel_ the boy's intimidation of being next to a former celebrity. After enough questions from Nobu however, the boy seemed to relax and converse normally with him. He found out that Mamoru recently moved to the same town he currently lived, and was on his way home from visiting old friends in Tokyo all week. They spent a few hours discussing music, of course, and when the unavoidable question of when BLAST would get back together was asked, Nobu answered it the same way he always did- by saying it was up to The Queen after she returned. This, of course, left Mamoru more confused than ever, and caused a lull in the conversation.

--

There was about an hour left before the train arrived in his home town, and the teenager next to him had fallen asleep awhile ago, leaving Nobu to his thoughts. Usually in quiet moments like this when he couldn't occupy his mind with playing the guitar, he thought of the band and Hachi- but for now he settled on re-playing his and Asami's short-lived relationship through his head.

They had broken up eight months after the band's debut. To this day, Nobu had no idea how they managed to last that long. He had been _terrible_ to Asami, first with using her in an attempt to get over Hachi, and then with the endless causes for jealousy. All she wanted was a loving and supportive relationship, and all he gave her was half-assed affection and nonchalant commitment.

It was the song he wrote that was the final straw for Asami. Before he wrote it there had been a steady build-up of jealousy and bitterness between the two of them, the jealousy had never really dissipated from the beginning of their relationship. All Asami wanted from him was reassurance that she wasn't Hachi's replacement, that he cared for _her_ and not Hachi anymore. He failed miserably in giving her that reassurance, instead he gave her angst-ridden melodies and melancholic looks whenever Hachi visited or was mentioned by the band. The song he wrote, that was accompanied with lyrics he also wrote, was what brought their relationship to a crashing halt.

"_Why don't you just go and steal her and her kid away from that bastard now, huh?! Isn't that why she left you in the first place, because you weren't a rock star?! Well now's you're shot, ass hole, I'm done with this! I'm tired of being the third wheel in your pathetic one-sided love affair!" _

She stormed out of his apartment after those words, and he never heard from her again. After that Nobu realized that he was probably never going to be fully over Hachi, or at the very least it was going to take him a _very, very_ long time. He didn't blame Asami at all, she deserved better than the likes of him, who was still very much in love with his ex-girlfriend.

Even though they didn't talk, Nobu still heard of Asami through Miu from time to time. She got out of the AV business for good, and not long after she met and married an American business man who, to quote Miu, "is everything you were not, Nobu."

He was happy for her. She atleast found someone who could give her all the love and emotional support she needed.

Nobu avoided relationships all together after Asami. He figured once he got over Hachi he'd start looking for something more serious than the occasional one-night stand. As time went on, though, he began to realize that he would probably never get to that point.

"_**Attention, passengers, the train is now approaching…**__." _

--

After signing an autograph for a groggy Mamoru on the back of a convenience store receipt, the two shook hands once more and parted ways. It didn't take long to get to the Terashima Hotel, only about ten minutes by cab from the train station.

"I'm home," Nobu called out from the foyer of the main house as he slipped his boots off. He didn't expect a reply. It was late and his parents were most likely asleep.

He padded up the stairs to his room and immediately sat down at his computer. Over the last few months Nobu had become almost obsessive over checking his e-mail, mostly to stay updated on the latest developments in the search for Nana. To his surprise, instead of the usual brief e-mail from Ren, there was an e-mail from "Ichinose, N." His pulse quickened as he clicked on it and read it. For the most part it was a very bubbly e-mail, as to be expected from Hachi, telling about her day and hoping that he had a safe trip home, but the last lines caught his eye and made his heart soar:

"…_.In two weeks I'll be visiting my parents with Satsuki. That's close to you, right? Please, let's arrange something. I need to see you!! XoXo, Nana." _

Nobu smiled stupidly at the computer screen for a good five minutes before replying. Afterwards he got up from the desk and sat on his bed, guitar in hand- stupid smile still on his face.

"It's been a few hours… how about we get re-acquainted, babe?" Nobu was already strumming a familiar tune on the guitar. Soon his soft voice filled the room, singing the song he wrote for specifically for Hachi all those years ago.

"_I can't control what's on my own  
Take the moment that you shut me out  
But in the calm before the storm  
I remember what it's all about  
I don't blame you this time,  
I don't blame you this time _

I still believe  
That anything can come from this love……."

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	3. Warmth

**_A/N_: **Wow, it's been awhile, sorry for the lack of updates- school's been pretty hectic and I've been bombarded with plotbunnies lately so I've been working a bit on those in my spare time. One of them is Hachi/Nobu drabble series that I'll be posting somewhat soon... it all depends on the homework load. Anyway, just a bit of an early warning, I'll be uping the rating next chapter. No, there won't be a lemon. Just lots of... implications. Also, I'm not really sure just what Hachi's job is- I don't remember it being elaborated on much, just something to do with fashion and design, so in this fic she works for a fashion magazine and is one of the editors there.

Thanks so much for the reviews everyone, it means alot. Also feel free to offer constructive criticism too!

_**Disclaimer:** Yeah, you all know who the series REALLY belongs to, and it isn't me._

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_

_I should run away, _

_But I can't; chasing dreams that are slowing down for me_

_I should turn around, but I can't_

_It's within my reach…_

"_**The Bell and the Hammer" – This Day & Age**_

* * *

Two weeks went by at an antagonizing pace for the both of them. 

Hachi would email him in the morning before leaving for work and again in the evening before bed.

Nobu did the same.

It was their feeble attempt to stay connected and make the time go by faster. It was their _only_ way of communication. Text messaging and calling were out of the question- it had the possibility of raising unwanted suspicion.

E-mailing didn't. It was a vital part of her job, and often times after work hours she would send or receive new clothing designs which needed approval. Takumi understood this, and never once questioned her for it.

---

Tonight was the night.

Hachi bit her nails nervously as she watched the clock.

Only 10 more minutes. 10 minutes from now she would be off the clock. She would go home and pack hers and Satsuki's bags, fix up bentos for herself and Satsuki and a quick, reheat-able dinner for Takumi, and then they would be off to the train station.

And she would see him not long after that.

Hachi blushed at the thought.

She felt her stomach turn into knots too. She had been feeling a mix of elation, anxiety, and apprehension most of the day. Hachi had never considered herself capable of infidelity, and she would be lying if the thought didn't scare her a bit.

An image of herself being branded with a large red A on her forehead and thrown out onto the streets alone while Takumi took Satsuki and moved in with Reira and-

_No! No! No! I mustn't let the Dark Prince have such influence over my thinking! That's exactly what he wants! I-_

"Err… Mrs. Ichinose….san?"

Hachi, who had been pounding her desk with her fists, quickly ceased the activity and greeted her assistant with a beaming smile.

"Yes? What can I do for you, Nishimura-kun?"

"I just wanted to give you some new designs to look at over the weekend before you left today," Her assistant set the folder on her desk, looking at Hachi in anticipation of… something.

"Thank you very much, Nishimura-kun, have a good weekend!" _Probably thinks I'm in the middle of an emotional breakdown… Just what the Dark Prince wants her to think… wants me to think… I will not let him get me down! Never!! _She thought while the assistant left the room, who was casting a couple quick glances over her shoulder at her boss- who had started pounding her desk again.

Hachi stopped beating her desk and put the folder into her bag. She would look at the designs on Sunday after they got home from her parents house.

10 minutes were up. It was time to go home and get ready.

---

"NOBUO!"

The said blond jumped in freight and clamped the reception desk next to him. He _hated_ when his mother did that to him. The receptionist he was just chatting with excused herself from the conversation and left to go find some other duty to busy herself with, leaving the son and mother alone.

Nobu turned around after making sure his heart was still inside his chest.

"You really don't need to do that, Mom… I think you just took 5 years off my life," The statement was met with shrewd laughter from his mother.

"Don't even start talking to me about _that_, because of all your shenanigans over the years I'll probably keel over any day now!"

Nobu laughed nervously and glanced up at the clock. _She should be arriving in her home town about now…_

"Anyway, Nobuo, I was wondering if you could stay late tonight and help…. "

Mrs. Terashima snapped her fingers in front of her distracted son's face, who still had his eyes on the clock.

"Nobuo, would you PLEASE listen to your mother when she is trying to ask you to do her a favor?"

Nobu stared at his mother for a second, and then blinked after coming to a realization. Hachi would be at her parent's house soon, and given the travel time between here and there, it would probably be a good idea if he were to leave now. He still needed to book the hotel room after all…

"Sorry Mom, something's come up, I'll see you tomorrow ok?" He said quickly, kissing her on the cheek and running out of the hotel.

Mrs. Terashima stood stock still, letting the knowledge that she just got completely blown off by her only son sink in. When it finally did-

"_**NOBUO!!!!!!!!!"**_

---

She was passed another dish to dry off while vaguely listening to her mother's babbling about… what _was _she talking about anyway? A new recipe? Hachi didn't know. She was too immersed in fantasizing and also fretting about the upcoming night to pay attention to much else.

It was almost 10 pm; Satsuki was asleep for the night, her sister was out, her father was upstairs, and she was here with her mother helping with the dishes. Going out for the night would be fairly painless to do, but just in case-

"Mom, I'm going to go out and see some old college friends tonight, I don't know how late I'm going to be, but it shouldn't be too long. We're just going to get a couple drinks and catch up."

Her mother smiled kindly at her, and mentioned something about not worrying about Satsuki because she would handle everything, and some other stuff, Hachi wasn't sure what exactly because her gaze had drifted out the window and she then noticed a taxi parked outside the house.

He's here.

He's here, waiting for her.

Hachi scrambled to put the rest of the dry dishes away and left the kitchen mumbling a quick "I'll see you later Mom, thanks for everything". She grabbed her purse, slipped on her shoes, and was out the door.

She made sure to pace her steps to the taxi, not wanting to appear overly anxious, to her mother who may be watching or to him. Her stomach was doing all kinds of flip-flops, and her heart was beating rapidly in anticipation. She could feel her fingers twitch; they were craving a certain warmth. Warmth that only three people in this world had been able to give her. One of them was missing, one of them was asleep in the house behind her, and the last one was now only a car door away from her.

Hachi gripped the handle, opened the door, and slid into the car seat. Immediately, instinctively, their hands reached for each other and entwined. That warmth radiated into her hand, his warmth. All her anxieties she had faded away into nothing.

Nobu was sitting in the shadows on the other side of the seat, his face hidden, but she could feel his smile from where she sat.

"Hi," He breathed, squeezing her hand.

"Hi,"


End file.
